When you live with an alcoholic, you not only feel alone, but most of the time you really are when it comes to chores and the kids. You are the only adult in the home it feels like most of the time. You will not be able to rest until all the work around the house is done and if you want to go somewhere, you will take the kids with you because the other parent will not be able to care for them while he or she is drinking. You might even have to have a job on top of everything lese.
Living with an alcoholic is even more difficult when you have kids that are seeing this display. It is hard to explain to kids why one parent has to drink and not do anything with the family. In many cases, kids ask questions that need to be answered and you have a hard time doing it. You do not want them to hate the parent that drinks, but you also do not wan them to follow in the same footsteps. They also might not want to have friends over because of the drinking. As a parent, you have to talk to the kids so that they understand.
If you have children in the home, you must protect them from alcohol abuse. These means that they have to be protected form the alcohol and the alcoholic that may be abusive. Kids are very impressionable and learn from what they see or what is done to them. You have to be the one to break the cycle. If you do not protect the children from the abuse no matter if it is physical or because they see a parent drinking, they could grow up with the same tendencies. As a parent or even a friend, you must step in and prevent any problems before they start.
If you live with an alcoholic, you want to offer love and conversation when they are not drinking. Trying this when they are drinking may be harder to do since you never know what their mood is or how they will react. You have to have an open line of communication even if the person is an alcoholic. You should not try talking about anything important when they are drinking, but engage is light conversation and leave the heavy discussions for when they are sober. Then you can have a friendly conversation. Just show them some love and hope that they like that better than what they get when they drink.
When you live with an alcoholic, you need to put up with a lot. The one thing that you should never do is may excuses for their actions or their drinking. You have to tell the truth, but in some cases, just not saying anything is better. If you make excuses for what an alcoholic does or why he or she drinks, you are just helping them keep on drinking and not taking responsibility for their actions. Sometimes it may be easier to make excuses than admit the true, but it just compounds the problem. One way to think about it is that if you have nothing truthful to stay, then just say nothing.
If you live with someone that drinks, the last thing you should do is accuse him or her of being an alcoholic. Not only will you lose the debate, but they will become upset and in some cases, verbally, physically or mentally abusive. An alcoholic has to be the one to admit that they have a problem and there is no one else that can tell them any different. They will not listen to you no matter what you say. You might mention that the drinking is getting out of hand, but they may not think that there is a problem.
If you have lived with an alcoholic for years and feel despair, you may need a change. No one should live without love and happiness. Sometimes it is not possible to stay with the alcoholic because you feel alone and helpless. You need something more in your life and the person is not able to give you what you need. Everyone needs to feel love and sometimes the person that you thought was the love of your life turns out to be your worst nightmare, literally. Sometimes life with an alcoholic is not possible and you may have to leave.
Living with an alcoholic can be trying and unnerving, but you can join a group for support. Al-non is a great help to family members of the alcoholic. There are people in the group that are in the same situations as you are and they are there for support. Everyone supports each other. In some cases, you find out that some of the members have the exact same problems as you do. You learn how they are handling their loved one. They can offer guidance and advice that everyone can use if they live with an alcoholic. This is important to survive.
If you are co-dependent on an alcoholic, you may need to join a co-dependency group for help. Living with an alcoholic can be hard, but when you feel that you need to stay for one reason or another, it makes things even harder than they already are for you. There are groups for co-dependent friends or family members. These groups can help you understand why you need this person and what you might be able to do about it. If you think you are co-dependent, you will want to find a group that can help you so that you understand why you need this person.
If you live with an alcoholic, chances are good that you want him or her to quit drinking. This is not something that you can just mention in casual conversation when you are talking to someone that thinks that they do not have a problem. If you do, it could cause an argument because most alcoholics do not think that they have a problem. They usually retaliate that you are the one with the problem. You want the person to get help, but it is not easy to do. Most alcoholics do not receive any help until something bad happens. You can do a few things to try to help the person join AA.
If the person that you live with wants to stop drinking, you have to help as well. When an alcoholic wants to stop, you have to give up a few things that you may enjoy. The person will need your support when they are trying to stop the drinking and change. This is not easy for the person to do and you have to be the strong one again. You have to offer encouragement and not offer judgment. Judging the alcoholic that is asking for help is not going to work. You have to offer compassion and support. They are not just doing this for themselves. They are doing it for you as well.
When you live with an alcoholic in you life, it is hard not to get discouraged and just want to walk away. If you care about the person, you want to help them, but the truth is that they are the only one that can take the first steps to helping him to herself. You can try to help as much as possible and do things to make things easier to quit, but sometimes all the help and treatments in the world are not enough. You have to be positive and hope that the day will come when the person finally goes for treatment and wins the battle of alcoholism.
If you know that the drinking problem is getting way out of control, you should get help for the alcoholic before they hit bottom. This means that you have to take matters into your own hands and talk to someone that can help. This will more than likely be a counselor or a doctor. You will need to get the person into treatment before it is too late. This sounds easy to do, but they are not going to go with you, you will have to have them committed to a hospital or treatment program. This is why covering up for the alcoholic is so wrong. You need people to know the problems for support.
When you are dealing with an alcoholic child, you have to be firm and not think that things will change. You cannot think that this is just a phase that they are going through. Many parents prefer to think that their child young or old is just having a rough time and just needs to unwind. This is what can lead to alcohol abuse and future problems. Someone that drinks because they need to unwind or because the parent thinks it is just a phase can become an alcoholic if this type of behavior continues. Parents never want to believe that their child has a drinking problem.
You do not have to go it alone. You can join a support group and talk with family and friends about what you are living with. It is important that you are not alone in what you are living with. If you think that it will make people feel differently about the person, you may be right, but then again, the alcoholic does not care anyway. You need to have someone to talk to or confide in if you do not join a support group. You would be surprised at how many friends and family already know that there is a problem.
Enabling an alcoholic to drink, lie or make excuses is not the way to live with an alcoholic. You then become the enabler and make it easy for the alcoholic to drink and hide the things that they should not be doing. You are the one that helps them hide their drinking from others and this gives them complete power over you. If you make it easy for them, you are just hurting them and yourself. If you do not enable them, they have to make the choices that they do. If they are drinking and being unruly, you cannot allow it or live with it.
If you live with an alcoholic, you may live with domestic violence as well. Many people that drink can become violent if they get upset. This might not be the case for some, but when a person drinks, it changes how they think. The sad thing about domestic violence where an alcoholic is concerned is that they may never display this type of behavior when they are not drinking. However, even the mildest mannered person can show signs of an entirely different person when drinking. You have to walk on eggshells when you live with someone that drinks.
When you live with an alcoholic that has abusive behavior, you need help before things get out of control. The one thing that you cannot do is allow the abusive behavior to continue or it could get worst. Bad things can happen when the abuse continues. If you need help, you can talk to others or protect yourself and the kids by calling the police. The police can remove the person from the home until they sober up. They can give you a seventy-two hour restraining order. Sometimes, this is enough to put a scare into the alcoholic.
If you drink when out with friends or at home with the partner that drinks, you make have to make a change if you want the alcoholic to stop. An alcoholic cannot stop drinking if they live in a house with someone that drinks even one cocktail a week. They see you drinking and determine that if you are happy with your drinking, you should accept their drinking. If they want to stop and you drink in front of them, they will not be able to do it. An alcoholic that wants to stop cannot around someone that drinks in front of them or that goes out and comes home smelling of alcohol.
Alcohol and arguing just do not mix. In some cases, a minor argument can escalate into something much worst. The slightest comment can set off a full-blown fight. Sometimes the fights can end badly for both. It is not uncommon for fights to erupt in the household when you live with an alcoholic. Even the sweetest person can become mean if they feel threatened in any way. The only way to avoid any arguments from escalating is to avoid any arguments or discussions when the person is under the influence. This might be hard to do, but it is something that you have to do.
When you live with an alcoholic in your life, you have to change the way you live. You have to change the way you keep your house stocked with beverages. You have to realize that having alcohol in the home is a thing of the past. An alcoholic does not care where the drink comes from as long as they can drink it. This is hard to understand for many people. If you do not have a drinking problem, but enjoy a drink occasionally, you will have to make some changes. The sad thing is that you may have to be the one to hide the alcohol.
Living with an alcoholic can be hard enough with the drinking, but if the alcoholic also lies and is deceitful, it can makes things worst. You have to wonder which part of the conversation is a lie and which part is the truth. You may find out things that you wish you never heard, but the truth is that an alcoholic can lie and not even bat an eyelash. Not all alcoholics are deceitful and lie, but most are at some point in their lives. You really have to be strong to live with an alcoholic. You have to be in love to go through all of the problems that come with an alcoholic.
If you are living with an alcoholic that is still drinking or is attending AA or another treatment, you have to plan for the parties or events that you attend. Going to a brat fry where alcohol is served is not the best idea. Attending a wine tasting event or joining friends for a birthday party where alcohol will be served should be avoided. Your life is different when you live with an alcoholic. You try to stay away from events that serve alcohol, even a family gathering. You even change the way you have parties and hope that everyone understands.
